Not every Christian couple feels guilty about sex, but a surprising number do. In fact, we’ve even been asked the question, “I’m married now, but I really, really look forward to and enjoy sex with my husband. Is that OK or is there something wrong with that?”
So, you want less sex than your spouse does. Is that a problem? Well, it turns out that’s a question for your spouse. But if it is a problem, today we’re going to help you navigate your way through this delicate issue.
This is Part 2 of the series on Body Image and Sexual Functioning. If you have not read the first part, do so here.
In the first half of this topic we talked about the impact of social media, culture and pornography on self-image and sexual self-consciousness. Today we talk about how you can help yourself and your spouse overcome issues with body image and thereby improve your sexual satisfaction.
Body image and sex…. a super sensitive topic for a lot of people. We’ll try to be gentle, but we’ll also be challenging you to do some serious thinking about your self-image and the expectations you’re bringing to your sexual intimacy.
So, we’ve had some listeners reach out with some questions about sex, and more specifically, questions about female orgasm. For most young couples getting married you know that while sex is awesome, it takes a while to develop sexual competence.
Because of how sexuality is portrayed in media and how we are socialized to perceive it in our culture, I think there’s this perception that arousal is just something you flip the switch on to get things warmed up for sex. In reality though, what happens in the marriage bed starts much earlier, and much differently!
I love that feeling of relief and gratitude that comes when I realize that I’m not the only person struggling with something! You’ve been there too, right?
Verlynda and I ran a survey of our OYF Clan (email list and people that follow us on social media) in the third week of August, 2014 and received over 50 response. We were touched by the sincerity and the openness of many and, as promised, are now giving you a summary of what we learned.
To those who shared with us in the survey: thank you! We appreciate your input and honour you for your openness and sincerity.
In your marriage, is sex more about quantity or quality?
One stereotype we always hear is that men just want it all the time and women do not. But the fact of the matter is, many factors come into play: body image, anxiety, menstrual cycles, social cues or influences, etc. So deriving meaning about the purpose of sexual intimacy from the frequency of sex is not always a great strategy.