Helpful Resources for Conflict

How To Repair After A Fight

After a fight, you basically have four options: you can exit the relationship, you can be patient and loyal by waiting for your spouse to change, you can neglect your spouse, or you can repair. (Branau-Browna & Ragsdale, 2008)

We’ve discussed fighting in the last few topics: why fighting for your marriage is good, different fighting styles couples use, and basic ground rules for use in a fight. This last topic in our series, about how to repair after a fight, is definitely the most important of these four topics!

Really, thinking that the repair comes after the fight isn’t really accurate. To set your marriage up for success, Continue reading

Ground Rules For A Good Fight

Most of us have the wrong idea about conflict in marriage.

We fear the conflict could lead to the disintegration of our marriage.

That’s a reasonable fear, in many ways. But we paint with too broad a brush. You see, it’s not the conflict itself that puts the marriage at risk but rather the behaviours within the conflict.

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Why Fighting is Good For Your Marriage

Fighting is something I am passionate about. Probably because I was so bad at it when we first got married…

I would get mad and come across as hostile, crying and flinging words that I didn’t always even mean.

Caleb would try to apologize, calm me down and say whatever it took to get himself out of the situation.

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Triangles — How Trigonometry Impacts Your Marriage!

I found the topic of triangles in marriage to be fascinating. How often do I get my nose out of joint by something my husband does? And then try to get my support from someone else? THAT is creating a triangle!

What Is A Triangle?

Triangles are three-way relationships. Usually this looks like mom-dad-child, or an unpopular variant: husband-wife-mistress. Sometimes the husband’s work can be his mistress…

They usually consist of two close parties and one distant one. For example, Dad is angry and abusive (distant) so Mom and oldest daughter are close and allied against Dad. Or, husband and work are close and wife is distant.

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Why Comparison Makes You A Miserable Spouse

Why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others? Is it a fear of rejection? Of not being good enough?

Making comparisons is never healthy, but in the context of marriage, it can suck the soul right out of it. It is draining and destructive. Why? It’s because it leaves us looking for what we don’t have instead of focusing on what we do have.

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