Back to school means a change in routine for many families.

Summer holidays are over (or, will be shortly) and once September arrives we’re into a new rhythm.

Verlynda and I thought that this adjustment was the perfect opportunity to make sure you prioritize your marriage as you adjust to the new routine.

Back To School: Back To Normal

This is the last of our shorter episodes this summer, so we’re getting back into our own routines as well!

What we want you to think about is putting some priority on your marriage as part of getting back into the routine.

Healthy Marriage Routines

Here are some ideas for you to consider on a daily, weekly, monthly and annual basis.


  1. Make sure you have a ritual of greetings and departures (take time for a good hug and a kiss when you are separating or reuniting as you go about your daily schedules)
  2. Have a time to connect. Just the two of you. You should be able to make something happen most days. For us, we have breakfast together every morning after the kids get on the school bus.
  3. Keep in touch. A quick phone call or a few text messages. It’s good to keep each other informed a little.
  4. Pray together. Having this as a daily routine really helps you keep on the same page. It’s hard to pray together if you’re out of sync with each other.


  1. Aim for one serious conversation each week. Or maybe I should say ‘intimate’ instead of ‘serious’. Good heart to heart about what is going on in life. When can you schedule this in so that it happens consistently?
  2. Can you swing a date once a week? For us, this is a challenge but we have been pretty good at scheduling lunch together every second week.
  3. Are you going to church together? Spiritual routines form a focal point in your family that just helps ground everyone in what really matters. I really believe this should be a weekly commitment.


  1. At a minimum, try to aim for one date together every month. I recognize a lot of us have some pretty busy lives but if we get to the end of them and our marriage is broken: do you really think we’re going to feel like we’ve lived well?


  1. Can you plan a getaway together? Just the two of you. If so, pick a spot and figure out a budget. And then save up for it so the financial commitment doesn’t take away from the pleasure of your time together.
  2. Family holidays. We actually forgot to plan this for 2015 and it’s made life a little tougher trying to make these happen on the fly. We are definitely putting this back on the list for 2016. Family holidays just help everyone share good times which is really healthy.

Next Week

We’re back to our regular programming next week with our usual research-based approach. We’ve had a good summer and hope you have too!