Helpful Resources for Pornography

6 Porn Groups To Help Your Recovery

6 Porn Groups To Help Your Recovery

If you are trying to break a pornography addiction, one of the best things you can do is to find a group that you can join in addition to doing individual counselling. Fortunately, there are a number of great options out there to choose from depending on what is available in your area or whether or not you are looking for something that fits with your faith/beliefs or your goals for sobriety. Today, we are looking at 6 of the largest groups available so that you can make a choice about what might work best for your situation.

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Impact of Your Porn Use on Your Wife

Impact of Your Porn Use on Your Wife

The purpose of today’s episode is simply to act as an eye-opener. In our online counseling agency, we help a lot of men break their pornography addiction. One common theme is that many of them are surprised by how devastated their wife is by their pornography use. It’s like they really don’t anticipate the impact: most think she’ll be mad, but the hurt often surprises them. So the goal with discussing this topic is to educate husbands so that they can be better prepared to understand and respond to their wife’s distress.

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Exploring the Links Between Attachment Style and Porn or Sex Addiction

Exploring the Links Between Attachment Style and Porn or Sex Addiction

When you’re working through recovery from something like porn or sex addiction, depending on how deeply rooted that addiction is, it forces you to confront a number of different dynamics in all aspects of your life. Many people who do this difficult healing work are a blessing to others because they’re forced to face down so many issues, as often they have experienced a great deal of personal transformation. One of the important areas we look at in our therapy with those struggling with these addictions is attachment, something that we went into in detail back in episodes 251 to 254.

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Porn Addiction and shame

How Shame Perpetuates Porn Addiction

Shame is such a powerful emotion. The problem is, it can lead to seemingly contradictory behavior, particularly in the context of addiction. Shame’s close relationship with pornography consumption can cause porn addicts to fall into cycles of shame over their addiction, followed by giving into their addiction, followed by more shame.

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marriage, addiction, pornography

How And When To Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Addiction

When I work with married guys who want to break their porn habit they generally fall into one of two categories. Either their wife already knows or else she has no idea at all. I don’t think I’ve ever worked with a husband whose wife knows but doesn’t care if he stops or not. In any case, if you’re in that latter category and you know you need to disclose this problem to your wife then today’s episode is for you.

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pornography and marriage

Pornography and Sex Trafficking

Today is a difficult episode about the hardcore realities of the pornography industry. How is this marriage related? Well, pornography is a leading cause of divorce nowadays and one of the myths that we need to debunk as we fight this cancer is that viewing porn is a victimless activity.

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effects of porn on marriages

How Pornography Impacts Marriages

I’ve run across a number of couples lately — mainly younger couples — who are watching X-rated movies or pornography in order to “spice up their sex life”. It is not uncommon in our world to think that pornography has something to offer your marriage, but today, we’re going to take a look at what the research says porn really does for, or, more precisely, to your marriage. Continue reading

Am I a Sex Addict?

I recently completed 4 and a half days of training on the assessment and treatment of sex addiction. You might be thinking “I’m not a sex addict so this isn’t relevant”, but I’d encourage you to listen to this week’s podcast regardless because we’ll also talk a lot about what healthy sexuality looks like in this show. There’ll be plenty of food for thought whether this is an issue in your marriage or not.

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protect your marriage from porn

How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage

Suggesting that it is possible to porn-proof your marriage may appear to be preposterous. Porn is so prevalent in 2017 that it may be simply impossible to prevent yourself from seeing and coming into contact with pornography. However, what if you could build a marriage relationship and a shared worldview where pornography was not even attractive?

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wife won't stop the affair

If My Husband is a Sex Addict, Should I Divorce Him?

Peggy* wrote in to ask about sexual addiction and its effects on marriage. She writes,


First, I think your plans for traveling for a year sounds awesome!  What an exciting adventure to undertake.  Your family will be in my prayers that you will only experience slight bumps in the road and have a wonderful family bonding time!

I love the podcasts and feel so lucky to have found you.  I think the first one I listened to was something on infidelity.  

I’m wondering if you might consider doing a podcast on sexual addiction. While the effects on a marriage are similar to infidelity there’s a deeper undercurrent with it.  I knew there was something off in our relationship and questioned if my husband was having an affair,  he always answered “no,”  so I just thought he was a workaholic along with the impact of binge drinking.  Finally, in the depths of his addiction he began receiving texts messages and phone calls that tipped me off.  

Sexual addiction has a broad range of activities from porn and beyond.  My husband’s issue started with pornographic magazines back in the 70’s and escalated to going to bars for lap dances.  It basically followed the invasive changes that sexual addictions has taken in our society and how accepted it has become.  The attitude of” boys will be boys” doesn’t help but speaks to the maturity level of some men in the American culture.  He was taken with being desired by other women and became infatuated with several but insists he never loved them only me.  I still deal with the hurt and pain that he could break our marriage vows and the years of deceit and lying.  I really don’t feel I was acting co-dependently in this because I was asking if something was wrong and we consulted several marriage counselors over the years.  He admits he wasn’t honest with them also.  

I have listened to many podcasts and YouTube’s on this topic.  I feel that Marsha Means and Barbara Steffens approach to looking at the PTSD or PISD (post infidelity stress disorder) it causes for the spouse has truly helped me.  Plus I accept that this addiction is rooted in an intimacy disorder.  Many “experts” support divorce but I chose not to take that path because of my religious beliefs.  So I was wondering if you might look at the issues of sexual addictions from a perspective of staying in the marriage. 

Thanks so much,

PS  I have to admit I love both of your laughs!  Keep up the great work!

Listen to the podcast episode for Caleb’s answer!

*name changed for confidentiality reasons