After a fight, you basically have four options: you can exit the relationship, you can be patient and loyal by waiting for your spouse to change, you can neglect your spouse, or you can repair. (Branau-Browna & Ragsdale, 2008)
We’ve discussed fighting in the last few topics: why fighting for your marriage is good, different fighting styles couples use, and basic ground rules for use in a fight. This last topic in our series, about how to repair after a fight, is definitely the most important of these four topics!
Really, thinking that the repair comes after the fight isn’t really accurate. To set your marriage up for success, Continue reading
Guilt is an effective motivator.
It’s also a great way to make you an unbearable spouse.
If you’ve ever had someone lay the, “If you really loved me you would…” guilt trip on you then you know exactly how that makes you feel. Loathing. Disgust. Nothing like, “I love you! I’d love to do that for you!”
I love that feeling of relief and gratitude that comes when I realize that I’m not the only person struggling with something! You’ve been there too, right?
Verlynda and I ran a survey of our OYF Clan (email list and people that follow us on social media) in the third week of August, 2014 and received over 50 response. We were touched by the sincerity and the openness of many and, as promised, are now giving you a summary of what we learned.
To those who shared with us in the survey: thank you! We appreciate your input and honour you for your openness and sincerity.
Here’s our marriage challenge countdown:
How awesome does it feel to be completely understood by someone – to feel that they ‘get’ you when you are explaining a problem!? Do you want to be a spouse that is able to give this blessing?
Listening to understand is one of those skills in marriage that doesn’t have a very sexy label, but is going to go a long ways towards building a thriving, passionate marriage.
This is a quick episode again as we are still vacationing in South Dakota!
Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field of marriage therapy, encourages couples to establish what he calls, “rituals of emotional connection.”
There are hundreds of possibilities, but in this episode we share with you a quick one that we practice nearly every day. We use it in that busy time between getting home from work and eating our evening meal together.